woohoooooo

-lin

I LOVE MANDA :D

as usual she's making noise in her toilet while im here typing away at her computer. TODAY'S THE FIRST DAY OF HC CAMP! it's the first day of our last project and honestly i've been looking forward to this since forever cos it means i can finally let go but now that im actually going through it, im a little hesitant about passing on. Amanda's being her usual chirpy self and YES I LOVE YOU for all the support you've been giving me. the encouraging words and motivation. We're indeed reaching the finishing line.

After this- As!

But really, after im done typing this we'll be off to have dinner then to NUS for the dance concert. ahhhh. nostalgia.

LOVE
linnnnnnn

P.S: WE MISS DRIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SO MUCH. WE LOVE YOU!

Hey retards! i was just watching this taiwanese show and i thought the plot was quite interesting. so why not i direct it to all of you instead.

say for example, you have a boyfriend now (which all of you do -_- )
for some reason, you broke up with him because you fell for another guy (FOR SOME REASON LA!) and no longer love your ex anymore (really no longer)
later you found out (touchwood) that your ex is terrible sick and only has a year to live and his last wish is to marry you.
would you marry him to fulfill his last wish?

i thought about it then i noted down the consequences. say after you marry him, his condition improves and he manages to lead a normal life again, will you regret your decision of forgoing the chance to be with the man you really love?
aren't you marry him out of pity and not because you really love him?

how would your present boyfriend feel?

but then again, its his last and final wish isn't it?

what would YOU do?

-shao :) -

sometimes all it takes is for someone to understand you that can bring your spirits up high.

i feel more matured these few days, i can really feel that i aM starting to grow really closer to my family, closer than before. i guess i'm a late boomer when it comes to this and i can seriously say with all of my heart that family matters the most to me in my life.

i feel that i'm being very EMO these few days. then again, there are positive effects of pmsing.

i guess the only reason why gals mature faster than guys is cause they think alot when they pms. they think deeply about their life and start to understand more about themselves and the surroundings. though it seems like a time of depression, i guess in a way it makes us develop deeper understanding of certain things in life and enable us to know what we really feel.

i can seriously say that my mentality has drastically changed since i was in sec 4. all the thoughts i have in mind now, they've change so much already.

-shao-

amanda's feeling sad again.

am i just pmsing or what?

i feel like a total failure. and dria's so right, "Why do we all think we should be better than we already are?"

why do i feel as if i have to keep up the standards of other people, be liked by them when i know i can't have the whole world liking me in the end? why is it that i especially want to be liked by a previous rival in love? do i want to be better than her in anyway she's good at?

why is it that in times of need, i feel too lost to find someone who can understand the way i feel?

and even if i do find, does the person actually empathize with me or is she saying those words just for the sake of it?

even if one succeeds in something, there is bound to be someone who will win you over again. so why try?


today turned out to be a bad day. really bad day. it proved how average i was. low standard. none at all. why is it that everyone has this quality that shines in them, that is so distinct and all, but yet, i don't?

i want to be special. i want to feel special. but somehow, i know i'm not.

maybe its the way i feel. i'm afraid of failure, which makes me not want to try to prove myself that i'm not.

low self-esteem? i don't know. i'm feeling suckier each and every day.

amanda's sad

sigh

oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh!!! GUESS WHAT!!

today i decided to go to singapore swimming club's library to study since Lin couldn't go with me to parkway library. and as i was studying, someone's handphone rang. i looked up to see this caucasian guy talking on the phone. HE WAS CUTE. GOOD-LOOKING. too bad he left after a while.

later on, i was contemplating whether or not i should move to another seat cause the door kept slamming open and close so it was quite distracting, until this other guy came over and sat opposite me. HE WAS CUTE! i think he's mixed blood or something, i seriously don't know how to tell. maybe he's chinese or who cares.

anyway, i thought, why should i pass such a good chance when the view in front of me was so good? so i decided to retain my position and continued studying for another 2h.

i noticed that he was wearing a NUS shirt, obviously form nus. i suppose at least 3 to 4 years older than me considering that he has to go through army? he seemed pretty stressed out with his work. i heard form my cousin that university is having exams now. so i suppose he was studying for that.

after doing my gp essay, i realised i didn't have a stapler! i so wanted to talk to him and ask from him, but well i didn't.

anyway, at around 730pm, he packed his things and walked to the shelf behind. i was quite sad actually, i mean the view in front of me would be an empty space. so sad right? there were two doors in the room and one was next to the shelf, the other was a distance near me. guess what happened?!

he walked over and went, "Hey, all the best for your A's. " and smiled....

I smiled back and said, "thank you." my face going so so red!!!

then he left!!

ARGHHhhhhhhhhhhhhh....he was soooooo soooooooooooo cute! good-looking! unable to bear my excitement, i immediately msged Lin and told her about it and i could hardly stop smiling!!!! thankfully, the people around me couldn't be bothered. :P

anyway, i didn't go to school yesterday cause i had some gastric problems in the morning. if you read the post in "live-toeat", you'll understand why. ran 6 rounds around the track, ate one small bowl of porridge to last me throughout the night..... ANH. that girl who called me fat! AHHAHA. i don't blame her. but i do realise that i'm getting fat. so oh well...maybe i should control my eating habits but not to the extent of getting gastric!!!

wish i could see that guy again. if we're meant to be, we will meet again!!!

God, let our paths cross please. :)

-shao-

my friend Anh said i looked more chubbier!

die. looks like my weight is taking its toll.

i immediately ran 6 rounds around the track after that (2.4), in my school uniform!

i really really need to loose weight. i'm sorry if i'm sounding obsessed over it. but feeling fat really pulls one's confidence down. so i will TRY my best to loose a few pounds!

i'm missing someone.

i'm missing him. :(

i can't believe the toilet reminds me so much about him. i have NO IDEA why! i think cause when we went out we were hunting around for the toilet together. LOL.

my dad's mad at me. lol. tmr my granny's gonna have her stone put up. they say its pretty nice. can't wait to see it. :)

we should have a daily/weekly question.

NAME THREE PEOPLE YOU WANT TO MEET NOW:
1) him
2) HIM
3) hiM

lol. fine i'll play it properly.

1) him
2) someone who can buy me a bag or a white watch
3) my future husband


wahhaha!!!

i'm actually just waiting for ONE sms. then i'll be happy. am i sounding obsessed again? well..at least there's something that keeps me going on in life.

THE CHALLENGE OF LOSING WEIGHT AND GETTING AN SMS.

AWWW!!! so sweet! dria's entry about how much we mean to her. love you so much too! you know, now that you mention, it really has been already SIX years since we've known each other!!! i can't believe we've grown up so fast, so much, and soooo...quickly! with dria and lin both already attached and going through all those "harbourfront" "jurong" "pasir ris" areas with their men. *grins*

"maturity is when one realises that his concern for others outweighs the concern for himself"

got that from steph khor's file. i really think that that phrase is so true. been in a very EMO mood today. partly because i'm quite dissappointed with myself. i feel that i'm not studying as hard as i should be, and i'm not trying hard to do so. i'm very scared that i won't do well enough to even enter the course of my choice, and even though i study so hard, sometimes my grades just don't show it. people say one should "study smart". but how smart is smart and how hard is hard? does smart mean that you concentrate all your mind in doing something in which you require less time so that you can study more, or does it mean spotting questions that will come out in future? they say "understand what you're reading" as well. yeah, i do that, but my main problem is i don't know how to apply. i'm so angry that i can't capture the technique of answering in bio, in chem. i'm so worried that i won't score in them. i realise i'm not really a science person, but neither am i an arts student. neither here nor there. it has always been the case. sometimes, i really don't know what job scope suits this personality of mine.

been putting alot of weight as well. another thing that depresses me. sigh. but the fact is, i can't stop eatting! i live to eat! which is why this blog name is called "live to eat". realised that i've put on 4kg since jan. really sad. depressing. sigh.

talked to my parents in the car just now. our conversation was really different from all the rest we had everytime. asked them what was the most stupidest thing they did in life and such. quite interesting actually. haha. then we came to marraige and all. i really hope to find a guy who's capable, smart, FAMIly-oriented, gentlemanly and loves me as much as my parents do. its so hard to find someone like that. i know all of you are probably nudging me and giving me that look, but i really think he's gonna be my life-long buddy that's all. or rather just a friend. he sent me an inspiring message today. here it goes

"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting seomthing we don't have, but rather or recognising and appreciating what we do have" -Anon.

at first it didn't hit me. but after much contemplation, perhaps i should start accepting who i really am. my grades, my results. so what if i'm bad in chem, so what if i'm fat, so what if i can't grasp the answering technique. at least i managed to attain a b3 in O's for science which is better than a C grade. at least i'm still able to get 1 out of 3 marks in answering questions. (i know it sounds pathetic) at least i'm not as fat as big mama. i should be contented with who i am and not get upset over such minor things. there are so many things in the world that can make my day such as Singapore getting sand imports again (yes, it eally affected me, i have no idea why, maybe caseu of the stocks i made :P) or being able to play the piano though it annoys my parents sometimes. At least i still have my family, the Retards gang and all.

now, that's what i call being optimistic.

happiness is for you to decide. =)

-ac-

sigh.

its getting more and more stressful everyday.

i wonder what lies in the future.

if only there was a way for us to predict our future.

i'll create a device for that if i can. then i'll be an instant billionaire.

but you got to admit, sometimes such anticipation does make your imagination go wild. but sometimes, just too wild. just too long. not able to take the suspense.

oh well. tomorrow retards outing! must remember to bring my camera. haha.

see you girlies!

-bear-

(waiting)

p.s ( i just like playing with the moods. they're really not reflective.) :P

i'm so tired. so so tired. i feel like sleeping. and sleeping early yawn

hello. amanda's the hottest girl in town. testing

its really weird how sometimes you feel so happy, yet everyone around you is so sad.

now did i mention that before?

i'm feeling the stress kicking in already actually.

i miss the other 2 retards.

i definitely, do NOT miss that person.

:)

-shao-

i feel fat!!!!

i am fatt!!!

ARGH

-ac-

cute ling ling


the angel of amanda

that is my darling in a bow tie i made specially for her. actually i wanted to give her the bikini and hawaiien skirt but i thought it was funnier to put it on a guy. :P

Lin! why did you mention his name in the blog! what if one day he pops by? wahahha... as if i care right. :P

thanks so much. that post really helped. haha. Don't be so EMO k? its good you're not stress because you shouldn't be! it shows that you can handle things properly and control your emotions. you're definitely doing better than last year so keep it up! we must get into the same uni no matter what (at least i hope) and hopefully the same course as well!

somehow i've always pictured myself going to the same uni as him. hehehe. i think its just a crush i have. and i think we've gone to the extent of becoming good friends that even if he doesn't msg, i don't feel sad. awwwwww Lin. i wonder how kwong and you are doing. :P:P

i realise that its only a few more months before we graduate again. and we've really grown so close throughout these 2 years. hope this can last forever.

and yes! we should go out soon!

i think i want to get married as soon as i graduate. i'm not desperate for a guy right now as pz says ok. i just want to ensure i walk down the aisle with my dad. and that yinglin will be there to hold my long skirt. :D:D

-ac rox-
aka. the next Bill Clinton.

Just a year ago. We need to have an outing the 2 of us soon.

Im panicking over not panicking. It's kinda screwed up seeing that June tests aren't far off. I don't want to land myself in the same situation as last year. DIDN'T EVEN FEEL THE STRESS. There should be so much more than just studying our butts off for 1 freaking exam that'll determine the rest of our lives. I just want to go backpacking around the world, touch every corners of the earth before i die. Shiok manzz.

I CAN WORK FOR TRAVEL AND LIVING AND BE A GLOBE TREKKER :D hahahh. eh i can dream yah.

Hmm. i know you're kinda upset with me mands, but what's teenagehood without being crazy once in a while?

With regards to your previous post, dont worry k, it's sec4 all over again, we'll pull through :) If your wish is to study in edinburgh then who ever said you cant do it when you're older? Learning is a lifetime thing, it's not solely confined to the early years of your life. Marriage, i guess, should be secondary to our primary desires which can only be fufilled while we're still uncommitted. Maybe one day your yL will take you away to a castle in dubai where you'll retire to being a tai-tai while he runs his 'yL Sports school' or smth. hehehhh.

My mum always tells me that everything happens for a reason. Ever since i was a young. Strange that it's so simple, yet it brings a whole lot of comfort to my heart. It's like knowing that somethings will just happen, whether you like it or not, and it's out of your control. Be it good or bad, somehow everything will work out, because that was precisely what was suppose to happen to you, at that point of time and place.

I cant wait to eat duck rice and siew yoke next week :)

Future globetrekker babyyy
lin

six impossible things

that i'll ever live in a castle
that i'll strike 10 million dollars today
that i'll become the smartest woman in the world
that Lee Hsien Loong will call me up and ask me to take over his job
that i'll be famous overnight
that i don't ever have to study anymore but still be rich

i receieved an email from a website that sends quotes to me everyday. it told me to think of six impossible things and believe that they will be possible. so decided to just jot them down and BELIEVE it with all my heart that the opposite might just happen!

feeling very sad and demoralised today. sometimes i don't know what's up in my life. so many things i want, yet so hard and impossible to get. i know smartness comes from hardwork and mind, or maybe some are jus born with it. why wasn't i born with a bigger brain?

i really want to go edinburgh actually, but i just realised the requirements are as hard as Singapore only its more expensive. might as well try singapore right? makes so much sense.

i wish i could just marry off to some big shot and be the next tai-tai. or at least...i wish i could marry him. :)

-smileybearr-

hello. bear's back again. seems like fox doesn't really check this though she said she was going to update it, SOON! haha

anyway. i'm happy. and i think Lin should know why!

but oh well, its just one of those moods i suppose. soon, i'll be back to normal again. but i realise i'm changing my personality, not the ole' sticky sort of person who wants to see someone every second. its more like, i can't be bothered anymore. just comes as it goes. :P

so much has happened in just 3 months! from orientation, to some sad moments, to tests, to dates and outings, and so much more to come! i can't believe i'm already turning 18 this year. its like, i feel a sense of maturity overcome in me!

i need to grow up.

no i already have actually in some ways.

i want to stay 16 forver though.

time passes too fast.

which name do you think looks the best?

terlicia, tellicia, tellycia, terlycia

i'm naming that for my 1st daughter in future.

for my dad.

what should i do?

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

amanda's back!

its new year's eve today and i just washed the toilet. it looks pretty clean! am sooo proud of myself.

oh im going over to my aunt's place to cook later (yes lin, i CAN COOK)

we had road run yesterday, so my legs kinda ache today. i know you didn't have to run lin. its sooo not fair.

realised i've never blogged for a VERY long time. i don't really know what i'm suppose to write on a blog already. i can't wait for tomorrow to come! then i'll be able to wear my pretty blue dress and meet alll my cousins! haha.

how do i post a picture here?

i wish my life were more exciting than this. *pouts* at least i'll be able to write something nice. oh i know! i can write about alll my korean fantasies!

i'll do that the next time round. *smiles*

happy CNY!